Still Waters Read online

  "It'll seem cold," he said, "after the hot tub."

  It did, but it also felt refreshing, like a cool drink on a hot summer's day. The water was a liquid caress on her heated skin. It touched and tantalized her nerve endings in new ways, and gave another dimension to the term "gooseflesh." Maddy forgot she was in a swimming pool. All she was aware of was the cool kiss of the water and Zack.

  He was there, close behind her, his hands curving around her shoulders, his chest against her back. His words were a whisper in her ear.

  "Now, do what you did in the tub. Stretch out… just like lying in bed. Relax. Let the water hold you."

  This time he didn't have to position her arms. She let them drift outward on the gently undulating water, like wings. And her head came to rest quite naturally in the curve of his neck. Once again his hands were on her waist, lifting, but now the water was cold and his hands were warm, and there was no confusing the two. She felt his body come up against her back and align itself under hers, and she knew beyond any doubt that it was his body that supported her, not the water. She felt her hair fan out around her shoulders and tickle her skin with a feather's touch. Zack's chin was a solid, raspy pressure against her temple, her anchor and her security. She could have drifted like that forever.

  Her legs settled slowly downward, until they tangled with Zack's hard, masculine ones. She jerked hers upward, but that caused her middle to sink. When her bottom encountered an approximately corresponding section of his anatomy, she panicked, and floundered to an upright position. Zack's arms came around her and held her tightly against him.

  "Take it easy," he said tersely against her ear. "It's okay."

  "I'm all right," she said irritably. "I'm fine." She didn't tell him that it wasn't the water that had precipitated her panic. She tilted her head forward so that his lips were touching her hair, and not the supersensitive shell of her ear. She felt his mouth move briefly down along the lines of her neck. Then he put his hands on her shoulders and stood back, separating himself from her.

  "Good job. You did great." His voice sounded strange, oddly garbled. "And that's enough for one day, I think."

  Maddy thought so too. She felt shaky, and again knew it had very little to do with her fear of water. In fact, she'd hardly thought about her fear at all.

  Quite suddenly, she didn't want to look at Zack. She was vibrantly, electrifyingly aware of him with every nerve and sense she possessed, and was afraid he would see it in her face if she looked at him. Dammit, it was his fault. In fact, he'd done it deliberately, showing her the "sensual properties of water"! The trouble was, how did she turn her senses off now that she was out of the water?

  He gave her his hand to guide her up the pool steps. His hand was firm and strong, and she was sorry when he released her and bent to pick up two beach towels from the deck. As he tossed her one, she noticed that he didn't seem eager to meet her eyes, either. He was wearing that same perplexed frown she'd seen on his face the day she'd appeared by mistake in his swim class. She was just beginning to feel as shy and awkward as she had then, when he suddenly looked full at her and smiled. To Maddy, it was as if someone had turned on a high-powered heat lamp.

  "Well, that wasn't so terrible, was it?" he asked. All at once he seemed to be bursting with energy and good spirits.

  She shook her head. He was making her breathless again. "No. But I didn't-we didn't do anything. I thought…"

  "Thought what? That I was going to just toss you in the deep end of the pool and let you sink or swim?"

  It was a joking remark, but it caught Maddy off guard. She couldn't control her involuntary spasm of reaction. She saw Zack's eyes narrow slightly and knew he hadn't missed it, but he didn't comment. Instead he stepped close to her, took her towel, and arranged it around her shoulders, using one end of it to dab at the moisture on his own face. It was an unexpected gesture, and one of such complete familiarity that it seemed to link them together in a cozy intimacy that excluded everything but the two of them. Everything-even breathing-was suspended. His eyes were very intense, and so near, she couldn't focus on both of them at once. She could see the tiny amber specks in the deep blue irises, count the drops of moisture on his eyelashes. His body was heat, strength, and magnetism, pulling on her.

  She heard a small, sharply indrawn breath, and realized it was hers. It broke some sort of spell. Smile lines crinkled around Zack's eyes.

  "I'm your teacher, remember? You done good- trust me." He ducked his head and dropped a quick, and completely fraternal, kiss on the end of her nose. "Come on. Let's dry off, and I'll see if Dahlia's around. Would you like some coffee? Hot cocoa? Herb tea?"

  "Herb tea?"

  He shrugged, grinning. "Hey, we aim to please."

  Laughing, Maddy said, "Coffee's fine." And then, impulsively, "No-hot cocoa. I don't think I've had hot cocoa since I was a little girl." She drew the towel around herself, snuggling into its folds and into her memories. "It makes me think of snow and cold winter evenings. We'd come in half-frozen, and Mother would have a big pot of cocoa steaming on the stove. One sip, and you could feel the warmth clear down to your toes."

  Zack dropped his arm casually across her shoulders and said softly, "Hot cocoa it is." As they went into the house he raised his voice to call up the stairs, "Dahlia? Dahlia, are you there?"

  A rich and mellow voice answered, with just a touch of gentle mockery, "Yes, Zachary."

  "Dahlia, come here a minute. Want you to meet a friend of mine. I'm in the basement."

  "I can hear where you are," the voice scolded goodnaturedly, coming nearer. A very tall, very regal woman with white hair and toffee-colored skin appeared at the top of the stairs, drying her hands on a towel.

  "Dahlia, this is Maddy." Maddy was very aware of Zack's hands resting on her shoulders in a gesture that seemed almost… possessive.

  The housekeeper's dark gaze met Zack's eyes first, then took in the position of his hands, and finally swept over Maddy with a look of frank assessment. "Hello, Maddy." Her voice had a low, musical quality, like an oboe.

  "I'm teaching Maddy to swim," Zack said, explaining, it seemed to Maddy, unnecessarily.

  Dahlia said "Hmm," and looked dubious. Her expression plainly said, "A likely story…"

  Maddy turned her head to look at Zack and found the expression on his face so patently guilty that it began to strike her as funny. It was strangely comforting to see Zachary London-Aquaman!-looking like a little boy caught with frogs in his pocket and mischief on his mind. Her self-confidence seemed to be growing in direct proportion to his discomfort. It made a warm, cozy pool inside her, very much like that hot cocoa she remembered so well. And at the same time, it gave her an overwhelming desire to giggle.

  Zack cleared his throat. "Dahl, could you please make us some… hot cocoa?"

  "Hot cocoa?" The housekeeper's eyebrows shot up.

  "Hot cocoa," Zack confirmed solemnly.

  "Hot cocoa," Dahlia said, and went away muttering to herself.

  When she was out of earshot, Maddy released her pent-up laughter and murmured, "Wow."

  Zack look puzzled. "What's funny?" She shook her head and covered her smile with her hand. Her feelings were too tender and new to bring into full light.

  "Dahlia raised eight children," he said, still watching her warily. "Every single one of them went to college."

  "Hmm," Maddy said, and sat, gingerly because of her wet bathing suit, on one of the two couches that flanked the fireplace. She didn't feel tender anymore, and she didn't feel like laughing, either. It had occurred to her that Zack's housekeeper was better equipped and qualified to care for a child than she was. To ward off creeping depression, she looked around her and said brightly, "This is a nice room. It's… warm. Lived in."

  "Whereas the rest of the house isn't," Zack said dryly, sweeping newspapers onto the floor as he sat opposite her. "There's a good reason for that, actually." He leaned back and propped his feet on the oak parquet coffee table. "This is w
here I live." His gaze rested briefly on Maddy's hands, which she was using to hold the towel firmly together over her breasts. "Except for my bedroom, it's the only room in the house I really use." His smile was crooked. "As you pointed out, it's a big place for one person, and it makes things easier on Dahlia. Maddy…" He took his feet off the coffee table and sat forward, looking earnest. "There's something…"

  Maddy felt cold settle over her. She didn't know why she dreaded what was coming, but she did. Somehow, just knowing what he was going to say filled her with a deep sense of loss.

  He got up and walked to the fireplace. With his back to her he took a deep breath. Maddy set her jaw and waited. Finally, he turned to face her.

  "Maddy, what would you think… about my adopting Theresa?"

  Six

  Adopt Theresa.

  Even with advance warning, hearing Zack say the words out loud made Maddy feel queasy. Hurt. Resentful. Jealous.

  And she couldn't figure out why, or why she should have this sense of loss. It had been foolish to think that she might have had any chance to adopt Theresa. It was a dumb idea anyway. Larry had been absolutely right about that. And the funny thing was, Maddy didn't even know where it had sprung from. She was only twenty-five, for Pete's sake! She wasn't even thinking of getting married, wasn't dating anyone in particular. She liked living alone. Well… almost alone. Why this sudden yearning for motherhood?

  Zack was talking to her, though it seemed more as if he were talking to himself. "Maybe it's crazy. I know it's crazy." He raked his fingers through his hair and shook his head, looking perplexed. "I mean, I've only seen her a couple of times. And it's not like I've been thinking about it. In fact, it's probably been about the furthest thing from my mind. But… I don't know, there was just something about that little girl, right from the first time I saw her, that day at the pool, remember?"

  Maddy nodded dumbly. As if she would ever forget it!

  Zack gave a short, ironic laugh. "When you told me to keep an eye on her, and why, I felt… strange. Kind of sick to my stomach, you know what I mean? And then, when I saw her…" His fingers tore through his hair, leaving wreckage behind. His eyes were dark and passionate, his jaw bunched with tension. With his broken nose he looked like a street brawler, spoiling for a fight. Maddy was fascinated. He resembled that ail-American sunshine boy of billboards and cereal boxes about as much as she resembled Cher.

  "I wanted to kill someone," he said through clenched teeth. "Really kill someone-with my bare hands." He looked at Maddy. "Can you understand that? And it was like… I just knew. You know?" His eyes were focusing on her with such naked appeal that she had to look away to save her own emotions. Without the protection of her puppets, she felt… bruised.

  You know? she repeated silently. Oh, boy, did she know! As she stared through a shimmering blur at the mess on the coffee table, she was thinking that, when it came to falling in love, whether it was with a member of the opposite sex, a lonely little girl, or a puppy in a pet shop window, you really didn't have much to say about it. Your heart did as it pleased. The rest of you just went along for the ride. And sometimes it was a very bumpy ride.

  "Maddy?" Zack was sitting down on the couch opposite her, looking puzzled. She realized she hadn't yet answered his question, or, in fact, said a word. She cleared her throat and offered a tentative "Umm."

  "Look, I know you probably think it's crazy. A bachelor adopting a little girl. And I understand that-you don't really know me very well." He jumped up, too full of tension and energy to sit still. "But it's different now. Single people can adopt kids. Happens all the time, right?"

  "Well

  "Anyway, I thought you might know-" He came back to the couch and perched on the edge of it. "Maddy, you work with those agencies all the time. Tell me honestly, do you think I can do it? Is there any chance at all that they will let me adopt her?"

  "Well, I-"

  Maddy was given a reprieve by Dahlia, who arrived at that moment bearing two mugs of steaming cocoa on a tray. As she set the mugs on the coffee table she divided a look of stern disapproval equally between Maddy and Zack and went back up the stairs grumbling about people who sat around in wet clothes, catching their deaths.

  Maddy picked up a mug and curled her hands around it, inhaling the heavenly scent of chocolate. She was feeling a little ashamed now, and a lot confused. Somehow, during the course of the evening, this man sitting across the coffee table from her had stopped being Aquaman, once and for all. He'd even stopped being Zack London, Olympic champion and household name. He'd become just a man-a very strong, very attractive, very vulnerable man. And she was finding out that that made him an even more devastating threat to her emotional stability. She was less in awe of him, but somehow even more afraid. She wanted less and less to keep him at a safe distance, an arm's-or puppet's-length away. She wanted instead to reach out and touch him. To touch his face, to brush back that stubborn curl of sun-burnished hair from his forehead. That confused her, because she'd never felt like that about anyone before.

  And she felt ashamed because she knew how selfish she was being. Theresa had lost her parents; Zack had lost his child. Theresa needed love; Zack had plenty of it to give. It should have seemed like the happiest ending to a sad story since Cinderella. It was childish of her to feel left out.

  "You haven't said much," he observed, absently sipping his cocoa. "You're frowning. I guess you don't think much of the idea."

  "Oh," she mumbled, taking a deep breath, "it isn't that."

  "What, then?" He shook his head. "I guess I thought you'd be happier about it."

  Anger flared in her. How could he be so insensitive! Didn't he have any idea how she felt? She tried to remember if she ever had mentioned to Zack the way she felt about Theresa. Well, no, probably not. She hadn't told him anything about herself, really. She didn't know him well enough.

  Taking another deep breath, she said, "I'm just surprised. It's very… sudden. And unexpected."

  "I know. It is for me too." He was watching her closely. Maddy braced herself and met his eyes, then leaned into the contact, pressing against it, testing the strength of her emotions.

  She swallowed. "And, um… you're single."

  His gaze didn't waver. "Yes, I am. But I don't intend to be single forever. And in the meantime, I have Dahlia."

  "Yes, that's another thing. What does she think of all this? Have you talked to her?"

  "Yes, I have, and she's tickled to death." Maddy tried to imagine that majestic woman being "tickled" about anything. "She's ready to take on the entire county, and that jerk of an uncle, single-handed!" That, Maddy thought, sounded more like the Dahlia she'd met.

  She leaned forward and said earnestly, "Zack, it isn't that I think it's a bad idea. I just don't think it's a good idea to get your hopes up. Theresa is only in temporary protective custody-a seventy-two-hour warrant. Tomorrow shell be made a temporary ward of the court. There will be witnesses. The guardians have to appear."

  "I know," Zack said, looking grim. "I've been subpoenaed as a witness."

  Maddy nodded. "So have I. I guess I'll see you there…"Her voice, somehow, just trailed off. Maintaining eye contact with Zack became uncomfortable, so she broke it and stood up, pulling her towel tightly around her. "Shell be put in a foster home; there will be a thorough search for other relatives. And after that, if nobody turns up, the current guardians would have to sign papers relinquishing all claim. And you'd probably have to get them to agree to a private adoption in advance of the permanent-custody hearing. That way, there would be a transfer of custody directly to you, rather than to the county. Once she's made a permanent county ward, it's very difficult to-"

  "Damn difficult!" Zack jumped up and followed her to the cold fireplace. When she turned to face him, he put his hands on her arms. "Just tell me what I have to do."

  Maddy suddenly felt small and unprotected. She was surprised to discover it wasn't altogether a bad feeling. "Well," she said, smiling sl
ightly, "for starters, I'd get a lawyer."

  "I have one." Zack brushed that impatiently aside. "What else?"

  "You've already got Larry Whitlaw on your side. That helps."

  Zack looked at her speculatively. "You've already talked with Larry about this."

  She nodded.

  He was silent for a moment, then asked, "What about you? Are you on my side?" His voice was soft.

  He touched the side of her face, then fingered a strand of damp hair back behind her ear.

  Light shivers ran through her scalp and down her neck, just under her skin. She felt an urge to tilt her head and nuzzle her cheek against his hand. "Yes," she whispered. It was a kind of sigh. "Of course I'm on your side."

  His triumphant laughter woke her from the sensual daze his nearness had induced. She muttered something vague about its being time to go and ran up the stairs to the bathroom where she had left her clothes.

  Oh, yes, she was on his side. She'd do anything for that man. She'd just realized that, and it scared her a bit. She'd do what she could to help him win custody of Theresa, even though she wanted the little girl so badly herself, she ached with it.

  Oh, be honest with yourself, Amanda, she thought as she drove home through the winding streets that bordered the golf course. You know what you really want!

  She tried it on in her imagination, and it made a lovely vision through her tears, haloed in a pink shimmer of sunset: a dark-haired little girl smiling happily up at the two people on either side of her; one hand lost in the brawny grip of a man with powerful, swimmer's legs and unruly hair frosted with gold; the other held securely in the hand of a tall woman with Nordic coloring and a touch of self-consciousness in her walk…

  Zack wasn't looking forward to the hearing. He didn't know what to expect, but had a vague idea he ought to be making a good impression, so he'd put on a sport jacket and a tie.

  He'd even gotten a haircut, in a last-ditch effort to subdue his hair. As far as he could see, it hadn't done anything but leave a telltale strip of untanned skin on the back of his neck, letting the whole world know just exactly what he'd tried to do.